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To those, who want to change

Once-in-a-while I discover something that puts into words what I have been thinking about, but could never express with such clarity and eloquence. This is one of those writings which I ran into in LiveJournal. I would love to share it with you.

By Viktoriya Pekarskaya (translated from Russian by Galina)

Depressed people are not recommended to read any further.

So… I’ll tell you a secret: Everything sucks.

  1. It’s impossible to become, or be like someone else.
  2. Nobody is ever coming to solve all of your problems for you.
  3. Never, ever, will anyone live in a permanent state of “eternal bliss.” You won’t too.
  4. There will always be new problems, tension and difficult experiences. There will always be questions without answers. Everyone will inevitably encounter them, no matter what level of introspection and awareness you may have attained.
  5. Relationships will never be smooth, especially with the closest and dearest ones.
  6. Nobody else will ever find the meaning of life for you.

Anybody who promises you something different is always driven by anything except your interests. Their standard, routine solutions might look something like the following:

  1. It’s impossible to become, or be like someone else. However, you can fake it.
  2. Nobody is ever coming to solve all of your problems for you.  The only exception is if you act like as a child. But the price you pay for it will be your dependence on an “all-knowing” parent, who, in affect, will control your life and will be responsible for it.
  3. Never, ever, will anyone live in a permanent state of “eternal bliss.” But you can try to ignore the dark periods, projecting outwardly a “nice facade.”
  4. There will always be new problems, tension and difficult experiences. But you can hide inside your home and decide not to take any chances. Or at least, you can decide not to live an active life.
  5. Relationships will never be smooth. Therefore it’s better not to have them at all. Or, avoid long-lasting ones.
  6. Nobody will ever find the meaning of life for you. But there are places where the meaning of life is defined by others: religions, for example.

Real solutions reside in the different plane of existence.

  1. Stop trying to be somebody else. Take a personal inventory and look for qualities that you have, but don’t use. We are given much more than we realize. Even things that you consider negative can be beneficial, but it’s important to find their proper application. Analyze all your virtues and shortcomings, accomplishments and failures. There are hidden resources in them – personal gold mines. Seize them and use them.
  2. Grow up. Problems can only be outgrown.
  3. Learn how to deal with dark periods and look for multiple solutions. There are always more exits from any situation than the digested food has.
  4. Any difficulties can be survived if you deal with them instead of ignoring them. Put simply, if you are sad – be sad. If you’re ashamed – admit that. If you are guilty – apologize. If you are angry – express your anger. Only in this way can you release and end your difficult experience and your problems will cease being problems.
  5. Work on your relationships. Relationships are difficult by definition. In order for them to be good, you need to work at them all the time. At least talk. You’ll have more energy for this work if you stop wasting time on all the unimportant people in your life and concentrate your attention on the most significant ones.
  6. This one stinks. You’ll have to take the full responsibility for finding the meaning of your life.

Do all these and something in your life will definitely change.

Yes, it’s easier said than done. I know. But I didn’t mislead you and wrote from the very start that “everything is bad.”

Original (in Russian): http://vika-pekarskaya.livejournal.com/17927.html

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